Bored...
Well its been ages since I've written in this blog, like almost 2 years!!! I've never been good at keeping blogs, though I used to keep a written diary when i was little, it has gradually faded out though as I've gotten older. i think its a good idea blogging as i'm more comfy typing than writing, my writing is so messy.
so i fixed my blog so it looks all pretty now, well it looks ok anyway. i didn't have much colour or personality before.
well 2 years has passed......last time i wrote i was 39 weeks pregnant. well i since had a baby girl (4 days after my last blog actually!). Her name is Keeley Elise and she was (is!) so beautiful. She is now 22 months AND we are expecting #2 in August! How exciting. So yes, i'm again blogging when i'm pregnant. seems to be the time to do it.
i think my blogs are fairly boring compared to some of the blogs i see around. i wish i was more of a "free spirited" sort of gal, with a philosophical mind, full of new and wonderful observations about life and things to share. i'm just not really. i would love to be like that but i don't know how. i'm more of an easy-going whatever goes type person, quite logical thinker really but i guess in some ways i am into philosophy. i think i'm a bit stupid to understand it all though. :/ some of the things people come up with, i can't even understand. yet i know my mind works pretty strangely and i'm sure i've got stuff in there noone can understand. just getting it out, that's what i have trouble with.
like i hate writing stuff down, like for assignments etc. if there is a blank space i have to fill in, it scares me to death. well not really, but i get all frustrated cause i can't think of what to say - well i can think of it, but to put it into words on a piece of paper, that's another story.
Andrew & I started doing a C-BTE course on Wednesday nights recently (CBTE stands for Church-Based Theological Education) - its good so far but we really have only been doing sort of an introductory study to the whole course but it'll be good to get into deeper study of God's Word. Well anyway, doing this CBTE course, its made me realise how soft and mushy my mind has gotten since having kids, or maybe its since leaving school, i don't know. it is just not very sharp at all, i feel quite dumb at times to be honest....i guess as we get more into the study it will become easier. well i hope it does anyway. but we are learning if you want to see growth and change in your life you have to be willing to put a little (BIG) effort in, you can't just expect growth to just "happen". You can't just expect God to do it all for you because He requires that we actually do something as well, we have to be willing to grow and change and put in the hard yards to do it. i hope i'm willing, i think i am. i know i want to be willing, i want to grow and change into the person God wants me to be.
more than anything, i wish i was that kind of person now, but i guess it is not something you ever really attain, we will always be growing and changing and there is never a day (until heaven) whereby we can say we have reached our growth level and that's where we're staying. there will always be something to work on. i think God shows you things in your life, you (hopefully) work on them with Him, but then something else will come along that you have to work on changing with His help. Thank goodness we do have His help! We don't have to do it all on our own, we couldn't actually, but we do have Him there to help us. We have to be willing though.
so today was Good Friday. i did thank God this morning for the sacrifice He made by sending Jesus to die, etc. but apart from that, I had a pretty heathen sort of a Good Friday. We don't go to church on Good Friday even though we are Christians. Yet that is the one day of the year a LOT of people go, even if its the only time of the year they do! I haven't really spent any time in God's Word today (apart from reading a few verses in the toilet - well sometimes that's the only time I get to myself!!). I should read some when i get to bed. Which by the way should be soon, i am tired.
i think because i'm tired i've been feeling rather flat and unmotivated all day. this morning i felt okay, i had the music pumping and was cleaning the kitchen and everything, then as the day progressed i got flatter and flatter and felt quite depressed to be honest. maybe it had somethign to do with the chocolate mud cake i ate for morning tea and the lollies and easter eggs i devoured to follow. they say sugar can do that to you. it was Andrew's birthday yesterday, so we had leftover yummy stuff - it had to be eaten. :) but at a price....
i'm quite afraid of becoming really fat with this pregnancy....i'm 22 weeks and already put on 6 kilos or more. if i'm to put on the "ideal" amount of weight, that only leaves around 6 for the rest of the pregnancy and i'm only *just* getting into the middle of the trimester where you put on the MOST weight.......oh no. i don't think i have to worry TOO much though, last time i put on 12 kilos, but lost 24kg with breastfeeding! amazing. hope that happens again....
speaking of breastfeeding, i have been quite worried that things won't go smoothly again this time. i'm trying to be positive though. i guess i have heaps of experience if nothing else. could use lots of prayer that's for sure.
well better get to bed really otherwise i'll pay for it tomorrow.
so i fixed my blog so it looks all pretty now, well it looks ok anyway. i didn't have much colour or personality before.
well 2 years has passed......last time i wrote i was 39 weeks pregnant. well i since had a baby girl (4 days after my last blog actually!). Her name is Keeley Elise and she was (is!) so beautiful. She is now 22 months AND we are expecting #2 in August! How exciting. So yes, i'm again blogging when i'm pregnant. seems to be the time to do it.
i think my blogs are fairly boring compared to some of the blogs i see around. i wish i was more of a "free spirited" sort of gal, with a philosophical mind, full of new and wonderful observations about life and things to share. i'm just not really. i would love to be like that but i don't know how. i'm more of an easy-going whatever goes type person, quite logical thinker really but i guess in some ways i am into philosophy. i think i'm a bit stupid to understand it all though. :/ some of the things people come up with, i can't even understand. yet i know my mind works pretty strangely and i'm sure i've got stuff in there noone can understand. just getting it out, that's what i have trouble with.
like i hate writing stuff down, like for assignments etc. if there is a blank space i have to fill in, it scares me to death. well not really, but i get all frustrated cause i can't think of what to say - well i can think of it, but to put it into words on a piece of paper, that's another story.
Andrew & I started doing a C-BTE course on Wednesday nights recently (CBTE stands for Church-Based Theological Education) - its good so far but we really have only been doing sort of an introductory study to the whole course but it'll be good to get into deeper study of God's Word. Well anyway, doing this CBTE course, its made me realise how soft and mushy my mind has gotten since having kids, or maybe its since leaving school, i don't know. it is just not very sharp at all, i feel quite dumb at times to be honest....i guess as we get more into the study it will become easier. well i hope it does anyway. but we are learning if you want to see growth and change in your life you have to be willing to put a little (BIG) effort in, you can't just expect growth to just "happen". You can't just expect God to do it all for you because He requires that we actually do something as well, we have to be willing to grow and change and put in the hard yards to do it. i hope i'm willing, i think i am. i know i want to be willing, i want to grow and change into the person God wants me to be.
more than anything, i wish i was that kind of person now, but i guess it is not something you ever really attain, we will always be growing and changing and there is never a day (until heaven) whereby we can say we have reached our growth level and that's where we're staying. there will always be something to work on. i think God shows you things in your life, you (hopefully) work on them with Him, but then something else will come along that you have to work on changing with His help. Thank goodness we do have His help! We don't have to do it all on our own, we couldn't actually, but we do have Him there to help us. We have to be willing though.
so today was Good Friday. i did thank God this morning for the sacrifice He made by sending Jesus to die, etc. but apart from that, I had a pretty heathen sort of a Good Friday. We don't go to church on Good Friday even though we are Christians. Yet that is the one day of the year a LOT of people go, even if its the only time of the year they do! I haven't really spent any time in God's Word today (apart from reading a few verses in the toilet - well sometimes that's the only time I get to myself!!). I should read some when i get to bed. Which by the way should be soon, i am tired.
i think because i'm tired i've been feeling rather flat and unmotivated all day. this morning i felt okay, i had the music pumping and was cleaning the kitchen and everything, then as the day progressed i got flatter and flatter and felt quite depressed to be honest. maybe it had somethign to do with the chocolate mud cake i ate for morning tea and the lollies and easter eggs i devoured to follow. they say sugar can do that to you. it was Andrew's birthday yesterday, so we had leftover yummy stuff - it had to be eaten. :) but at a price....
i'm quite afraid of becoming really fat with this pregnancy....i'm 22 weeks and already put on 6 kilos or more. if i'm to put on the "ideal" amount of weight, that only leaves around 6 for the rest of the pregnancy and i'm only *just* getting into the middle of the trimester where you put on the MOST weight.......oh no. i don't think i have to worry TOO much though, last time i put on 12 kilos, but lost 24kg with breastfeeding! amazing. hope that happens again....
speaking of breastfeeding, i have been quite worried that things won't go smoothly again this time. i'm trying to be positive though. i guess i have heaps of experience if nothing else. could use lots of prayer that's for sure.
well better get to bed really otherwise i'll pay for it tomorrow.
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